... making my own traditions.

Healing my holiday memories, home updates, "body doubling", and pre-Paris plans.

Hello, friends! I hope you’re resting and recovering well after the holiday week.

I have a bit of a rough emotional history with Christmas. It’s certainly not my favorite holiday. There’s a lot of pressure around it, it’s super commercialized, and there has always been some family tension or drama. I love the ambiance of the season more than anything, from the decor to the music, the festivities, and the movies, those are all the pieces that bring me a lot of joy. And now that I own my first home, it’s been really healing for me to have my own space to decorate that sets the tone for the holiday, a space that allows me to completely rewrite my Christmas story. Last December I was visiting Cambodia with my family for a month so I didn’t do any of the usual Christmas decor in my house. As you can imagine on a family trip, the environment was like a pressure cooker that really tested our family dynamics. Overall, it was a record-breaking tense and shitty Christmas. The best thing about the trip was how much closer I got to my parents. They were the vacation MVPs. Due to a scheduling conflict of theirs, I decided to change the narrative this year and opted to spend my first Christmas without family. And dare I say, it was the best Christmas break I’ve had in years.

It was so comforting to be in my own home for the holiday. In early November, I asked my best friend, Charlotte aka Chip, if she’d want to fly down from Brooklyn and spend the Christmas week with me. She was in the middle of her busiest time of year and my way of encouraging her to take time for herself to rest was to come to Charleston and leave behind the hustle and bustle of New York. She had never visited South Carolina before! Chip and I go way back to 2014 when we first became coworkers and then work wives at a corporate job in Boston. In 2017, we both left New England, I headed south to Charleston and she moved to Brooklyn. There was a length of time since then when we lost touch but in the Fall of 2022, we reconnected and picked right back up where we left off.

I visited her in Brooklyn in June 2023, and it was the most fun and freeing weekend I had in a long time. Reuniting with Chip in person that Summer changed my entire existence. Being around her helped me level up to be the most carefree version of myself. I started to experience the overwhelming joy of emotions of what it feels like to exist as my most authentic self. Charlotte has always been unapologetically herself when she moves through the world and I, on the other hand, used to care too much about what people thought of me. I was always scared to take up space, to laugh too loudly, to say exactly what I was thinking, but with a best friend like Charlotte, I never have to think twice before I act or speak because I know she will never judge me. Our friendship takes the definitions of transparency and self-awareness to another level. We know how to laugh at ourselves (a lot of times we laugh too hard) and also accept that we will always be a work in progress. Sometimes I think our dynamic is so similar to Paige Desorbo and Hannah Berner of Giggly Squad, except our fashion leans more “Paige coded” and we would never ever wear Crocs. All this to say, a best friendship like mine and Charlotte’s has been incredibly special for me to have in my life again. It has taught me so much about the kind of friendship I want in a romantic partnership, too. The shared candid laughter, open communication, and honesty that I want to replicate in a romantic relationship. After all, the healthiest thing I’ve taken notice of in my friends’ romantic relationships is the loving friendship they share with their partner, first and foremost. I think through these friendships the universe is turning its wheels to prepare me to recognize that bond when it does come into my orbit one day.

I’m happy to report that even my close group of girlfriends in Charleston emulate that same energy. That’s what I think is so beautiful and important about harnessing female friendships before finding a partner. It’s crucial to have girlfriends who reinforce your beliefs around loyalty, and trust, and remind you of the love you deserve and the love you are capable of giving. When I dated in my 20s I was that girl who ditched plans with her girlfriends to hang out with her boyfriend. I gave my all to my romantic relationships but forgot to find balance in nourishing the friendships, too. I would end up losing all sense of self by trying to make my partner happy while completely forgetting what I needed to be happy. Now, I am seven years into single life and I continued to learn along the way the importance of striking a balance between friends, boyfriends, and time with myself. And I learned throughout my early 30s that feeling loved and fulfilled does not only come from romantic partnerships, that’s just a very, very small piece of the pie chart. But I digress.

Charlotte flew down to Charleston to spend eight days with me and Fiona (my cat) and I had a loose itinerary planned for us. I made sure to show her a few southern gems but I also wanted to leave room for rest. In case you’re interested in the short itinerary of places we hit up:

• Dinner at Chubby Fish: my absolute favorite seafood restaurant in all of Charleston. Get there at 4 pm to wait in line before they open at 5 pm. The wagyu tartare is a must!

Dinner at Chubby Fish. Wagyu tartare (left) and Cauliflower cacio e pepe (right)

• Nightcap and card games at Roseline Wine Bar: my friend Riley Sheehey is an artist and designed this deck of playing cards. I now carry them in my bag wherever I go and it’s been fun to whip them out and play games with whoever I’m with. Highly recommend stashing a deck of cards in your bag to create some fun wherever you go, especially if it happens to be a date! You can learn a lot about someone through card games.

It's such a cute new wine bar at the corner of Rose Ln and Line St.

• Lunch at Chez Nous: they release a new 3-course menu every day on their Instagram. Dining here feels like you’re in Paris! If you visit for a special occasion, I recommend taking the menu home as a keepsake/souvenir.

It was pork chop day and it was the best we've ever had.

• Shopping at Wentworth by Gregory Blake Sams: you will leave here feeling so inspired. There are lots of gorgeous treasures sourced from Europe.

Wentworth

• Super Saturday Store for thrifting vintage finds!

Super Saturday Store

• Graft Wine Shop for delicious wine, good vibes and happy hour

• The Faculty Lounge: the place that the locals go to. Kind of like a speakeasy. Don’t be intimidated by the exterior of the building, there are no windows and you have to ring the bell to get inside. The cocktails are so good.

The Faculty Lounge - this drink is the Pickolas Cage!

• Harbinger Cafe for a ‘Best Friend’ chocolate chip cookie. Ask them to warm it up if you decide to eat it there.

The best chocolate chip cookie of all time at Harbinger Cafe.

• The Station Park Circle for affordable thrifting! They have vintage furniture, books, clothes, home decor and kitchen finds.

  

  Chip bought four museum history books and a satin top and pants set.

• Sorelle for hot chocolate to take on our walking tour of South of Broad.

• Bin 152 Wine Bar: same vibe and owners as Chez Nous and feels like Paris.

Disclaimer: Despite what you see in this photo, Bin 152 DOES have cheese options.

We had reservations for Costa and Vern’s but canceled both because we did so much cooking at home. We loafed on the couch and binged the remake of Mr. and Mrs. Smith and the new Matlock with Kathy Bates - both were incredible! We made so many delicious recipes and Chip also helped me finish some home projects I’ve been dragging my feet to complete. I used to use my dining room area for client photoshoots, but ever since I got back from Italy and France this year I’ve been wanting to make my home feel a little more European. A friend gave me her dining table before she moved to Atlanta and I was going to strip the top coat of white paint to restore it. It was a massive project and we underestimated our capabilities. Thankfully, when Chip and I went to East Cooper Home Store to thrift some dining chairs we unexpectedly found a different dining table for $80! The wood stain was an even better fit for what I envisioned. I donated the original one my friend gave me and we cleaned up the new one below!

Before and After of the dining room space. I hired an electrician to hardwire a pair of ceramic sconces and I plan to change out the wishbone chairs at each end of the table and replace them with chocolate brown upholstered chairs.

I also changed out the glass pendant lights over my kitchen island to travertine and wood. What feels more European than travertine?!

Old pendants (left) and new ones (right)!

Sometimes all it takes is having a buddy (and a good electrician) to help motivate you to cross a task or two off the list. The house feels so much more complete now that the dining room is finished. I can’t wait to host friends for long leisurely dinners and game nights around this table. It’s helped me fall in love with my space again which I didn’t anticipate feeling. A new corner to host and inspire creativity. I’m writing this post from the head of the dining table where I’ve been perched all day. Earlier today I had an idea to host a few other WFH girlfriends for a monthly co-working day where we work from this dining table and focus on whatever needs to get done for our businesses. Business admin, photo editing, drafting up career goals and dreams, and simply being productive together. It’s a monthly standing date but with no obligation to join in every month, a “come and go as you please” kind of setup. They were all excited about the idea and one of them taught me the term “body doubling”, which by definition is helpful for people with ADD or ADHD who may struggle with focus and motivation and beneficial for anyone who finds it challenging to complete tasks independently. Body doubling, which is having a friend nearby, keeps you accountable (the friend reminds you of your goals and motivates you to stay on track), and provides social support (a friend’s presence can reduce feelings of isolation and make the task more enjoyable), and mirrors behavior (observing a friend’s focused work can help you regulate your own attention). After learning this term it made total sense why Chip’s visit was so productive and restorative! Having her here made doing any house project 10x more fun and cut the length of the projects in half. I’m so excited to have a monthly standing co-working date with like-minded girlfriends which is so important to do when you’re a solopreneur and work from home.

Now for the pre-Paris plans: I’m planning on saving up as much money as possible before I tentatively head out there late next year. I want to test out a 3-month stay first and figure out if that’s the length of time that I need to get this yearning feeling for the Parisian life out of my system or if it really is somewhere I want to be long-term. The reason for getting my house to feel more European is so that I enjoy spending more time at home next year in an effort to save up for the big trip. So far with the recent home updates I think I’ve achieved that Paris feeling I’ve been missing.

Until then, I plan to perfect some French dishes from my French cookbooks and I’ll have friends over for many dinner parties to be my official taste testers.

x Laura