... getting back to dating after a 10-month hiatus.
One love bomber, one midwesterner, one local southerner and a strong intuition.
This one is going to be jam-packed, friends. Where to start? Well, read the written part of this post first, and then at the end, play the audio for all of the details from last week’s dating diaries.
On a serious note, can I be the next Carrie Bradshaw of Charleston? You can let me know after catching up if I’m fit for the job. It’s been one week since I logged back on to Bumble for the first time in 10 months and it has been nothing short of fun. Lessons have been learned, laughs were made, and chivalry is very much still alive - thank god!
If you follow me on Instagram, you may have seen my OOTN story on Monday as I headed out the door to go on my first 1st date in 10 months. Last summer, dating left me a little scarred after a brief stint with someone who was, in retrospect, a very unkind and unstable human, to put it lightly. It was 2 weeks spent together that felt like 1-month of my life gone. It was draining. I didn’t realize until after it ended that he brought out the worst emotions in me, which meant he was no good for me and that I still had some self-work to do. It was one of the dating experiences where I prioritized “people pleasing” and failed to ask myself how this other person made me feel around them and if I loved who I was in their presence. The clear answer was no. It ended badly. His biggest character flaw exposed itself when his dog, a chihuahua (first red flag lol), peed inside my house 3 separate times and somehow he was gaslighting my cat and blaming us for his dog marking his territory in my home. LOL I can’t make this shit up if I tried and I can’t even get into it, but it’s freaking hilarious. I never had to block an “ex” before on social accounts, but there’s a first time for everything.
While the recovery period took a while afterward, I’m so grateful I had the crappy experience. It helped me exercise my intuitive muscles to know just when something is so good and so right or so terribly wrong. We both crossed paths to be a mirror for each other, that’s what every human encounter really is, and it was up to each of us to either stare down our reflection head-on or to run away scared. I chose the former, and in the last 10 months, I have taken time in solitude to love on myself, work at healing my inner child, learn from my friendships, grow in my career, and savor my single life.
In this season of life in my close friend group, I am surrounded by mainly married friends. For the first time, I am able to see so clearly exactly what I want and desire in a partner based on the observations I’ve made from the healthy, loving partnerships that surround me. As the saying goes “You are the company you keep”, and I am hopeful that surrounding myself with beautiful relationships is only helping me call in the partner I’ve been ready for. So with this mindset and some encouragement from my best girlfriends, I reacquainted myself with Bumble. I knew if I didn’t and stuck with my current routine of working, traveling, and friending, I’d continue to struggle to meet new people.
I approached the app differently this time though. I paid for the premium subscription. WILD. I know. Is it worth it? Let me tell you…